Disturbing enough? I thought so. But it gets worse. The following comments on a board I frequent staggered me:
"Dredging up the past is ridiculous "
"women throw them selves at footballers and say that they have been sexually abused to get their 15 minutes of fame and get a story on a current affair."
"It never fails to frustrate me when females think they can pull the wool over the eyes of everyone and cry rape etc, when is was consensual, and now they've decided they want some quick cash or a turn in the spotlight, but where do we draw the line at who to believe?"
"I'm not saying rape isn't wrong, but if a woman is asking for it, I have no sympathy"
What really got me - to the point where I felt almost physically ill - was that these comments were all on a board that is a forum for women; a female footy fans forum (If that isn't enough alliteration to choke on) I won't name the forum, but these are by-and-large intelligent, seemingly caring women, and most of the attitudes range from "it doesn't matter, it was years ago" to "she was asking for it"
To which I replied:
Let's get one thing clear right now. NO-ONE ASKS FOR RAPE. Rape is a criminal offence, a violation and should never be tolerated or apologised for with remarks like "well, she asked for it" Wearing a short skirt is "not asking for it". Deciding you don't want to go through with something at any stage is not "asking for it". The only determining factor as to whether something is rape is whether the person consented - and changing your mind before or during removes consent. What they are wearing, how they act or whether someone considers that person a tart do not enter into the equation.
"aren't we being a bit sterotypical by saying that men are wrong for raping women- which they are but what about women who rape men, isn't that the same thing."
Riiiight. Because referring to specific allegations against AFL footballers - who, correct me if I'm wrong, are men - in the masculine pronoun negates your comment saying that women are "asking for it"?
I'd make some sensible points about women being our own worst enemies sometimes, the "she's only saying it because he's famous" defence and why we still have a long way to go on our attitudes to rape victims, but I'm too bloody furious right now.
**EDIT** Tweaked a sentence in one paragraph so it actually made sense, and changed the spelling of forum from "Fourum" I have no idea what a "Fourum" is, unless it's an obscure alcohol measurement.