Thursday, November 27, 2008

If you've left me, why aren't you gone?

*Just a quick not: This is the worst five percent of how I feel. For the maybe thirty seconds at a time. I'm not a moper, but it feels dishonest to pretend I never feel this way. Yes, i'm not always Pollyanna

Every day, you creep into my thoughts in a new and perplexing way.

I still haven't found a way to divorce your memory from the however-many years I knew you.

I don't love you anymore, but the memory of that love can still take my breath away.

If I think about it, in total honesty, I never want to love someone as much as I much as I loved you again. It gives the other person too much power.

Which is why, in my darker, more bitter moments, I think it's likely i'll never be in a serious, committed relationship again.

I wish I could hate you. I wiah you hadn't been a part of every strong emotion I felt for those years.

Butt I still don't wish i'd never met you.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Send me all your Vampires

A gazillion points if you can tell what song that title is from without Googling.

Anyway, I've noticed a pattern of late. It's slightly disturbing, but mostly mildly diverting.

I have way too many books about vampires. I've just finished reading the first two books in the Rachel Morgan series, where the main character is a witch and her roommate is a vampire. Before that, I was reading the Twilight series, where the main character is in love with a vampire, and eventually becomes one herself. Before that, I was revisiting the Anne Rice Vampire Chronicles.

All in all, I worked out, I have 25 books that heavily feature vampires.

If people start forgoing the handshake or hug hello and just bite me on the neck, I'll understand.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Things that shit me Music Edition Part the Second

Because one just wasn't enough:

Madonna cannot dance. It's like a secret no-one talks about. I can’t be the only person who hasn’t noticed this, surely?

She seems to have three moves - kneeling on the floor and thrusting, leaning against things throwing her head/hair around – with optional hands-on-head-elbows-out move, and walking in time to the music. Also, good on Guy Ritchie for telling it like it is: Madonna, you're old enough to be a Grandmother. Get over it. Everyone gets old. Some of us realize that there’s a certain point when leotards stop being a way of showing off a hot bod and start looking skanky and wrong. It’s not about age, it’s about why you’re doing it. Also, you’re gristly and freaky looking. And a good rule of thumb? If the veins on your inner thighs are sticking out, get off the fucking treadmill and eat something.

Additionally: Put on some pants, for the love of God.

Metallica: Cheer the fuck up. You have squillions of dollars, legions of fans, gorgeous families, houses and all you could ever wish for. Would it kill you to write a song that isn't doom, gloom, and pain? I like a grand total of one of your songs, and that was a Nick Cave cover. And considering my ex was (quite literally) a card carrying Metallica nut, it isn't like I haven't heard enough. I’ve listened to every single one of your albums. I’ve seen the DVD’s and he made me listen to Blue Oyster Cult because Hetfield lists them as an influence and Metallica did a cover of one of their songs or something. So this isn’t me talking ill-informed shit. I know of what I speak.

And you do my head in more with each passing day. The further you get away from the angry teenagers you were when you first started gritting your teeth and spitting your woe-is-me lyrics at a borrowed microphone, the less sincere it sounds. St. Anger? For fucks sake. If you have to put Anger in the title of the album to keep the rage alive, you’re probably not angry anymore.

Britney: Look, I’m a fan. Nice voice, nice bod, quality pop, felt sorry for you when you went mad and all, but the film-clip to womanizer? You’ve done it before. It was called Toxic. You did the whole blonde/red/black thing then. Even the grasping the guy by the belt and throwing him down thing you’d done in that film-clip. Also, the bit where you’re “naked” in the sauna you did in a diamante-encrusted body-stocking in Toxic. And can I just say, with the greatest respect, Womanizer is no Toxic. Toxic I like. Womanizer is catchy, but not much more. I realize that the whole going-mad thing may have warped your memory or summit, but come on! Surely someone saw the plan for that video and it must have twigged?

Someone needs to have a word with the people around that girl.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Okay, this isn't exactly substance-full, either

Two things.

OW! Damn you, heavy folder:

This is the reason I am typo-ing like a mad thing today. Both of the nails on my thumbs have been decimated, and I lost the stylus for the whiz-bang phone some weeks back. I usually rely on the length and pointy-ness of my thumbs to operate the tiny, tiny keyboard accurately and quickly, and now, well, it's a little difficult to do either.

Also, as you can see, I've been neglecting my hands of late. That is one ragged cuticle. Those who know me will know that I don't usually neglect my nails (I file and buffed my nails whilst camping in the middle of nowhere. They are usually my pride and joy), but lately they've gone to hell entirely. And yes, I have old-lady hands. I was born with old-lady hands.

Two: I realise this blog is being a little neglected of late in terms of actual words, but so is everything else. I'm busy doing some research and putting together training on topics I'm not entirely aux fais with on top of my usual job, and I've had sproadic access to the Intertubes in the last few weeks. You could always jump on twitter (See the widget in the side-bar over there?), which I usually update when I'm moving about. Or Facebook, or attach some kind of tracking device to me. I don't know.

Either that or bare with me. Things will improve after this week, I would imagine.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Mobile again, and more pretty pictures

This blog is rapidly becoming far more visual, I've noticed. I promise something of substance soon, but it won't be today.

Here, instead, is what I've been doing whilst I've been off the intertubes. Making Christmas cards. I've designed fifteen this year, but some are silver and gold on red, and that isn't showing up terribly well on the whiz-bang phone. Here are the ones that have kind-of-worked:

The Wreath



Christmas Tree

The Chimney

Silver Chimney

Victorian Baubles

Blue Balls

So that's what I've been up to. What's everyone else been doing?

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


My mobile has been intertube-less, unable to receive messages and unable to receive e-mails or make calls since 10.47am on Saturday. Lest it be assumed I am some kind of Optus free-loading type who didn't pay their bill and is being righteously reminded to do so, let me make it clear that I did indeed pay my bill and I have the receipt number to prove it, Damn it.

If you've tried to contact me via the above methods since then, I'm not just ignoring you, I don't know you've been pestering me with messages declaring your undying love and willingness to give me a grant to fund my latest art project "Making Christmas cards seriously kicks the arse out of starting work at 8am and getting home just in time to throw food down my throat, will it to digest faster and run just as the sun sets for significantly less money than I deserve"

The title is a work in progress, but the project itself is as solid as a rock, yo.

In other words, until the matter is resolved (I'm hoping that'll be this evening, but it could be up to 24 *sob* hours from now), call me rather than text or e-mail to the Hotmail or Gmail address'.

Incidentally, my Christmas cards this year kick arse. Photos to follow, when Optus deems it necessary to get off their arse and let me send e-mails from the whiz-bang phone, or I remember to bring my camera with me.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Green Wing

I've been talking about Green Wing for a while now, but I keep forgetting to blog it.

And I know I'll forget if I don't do it now, so I'll be quick.

People, go out, buy the DVD and thank me later. It is the shit. It is the bomb. It is all your Christmas' come at once. If you watch it and don't like it, there is something deeply, fundamentally wrong with you.

You are a freak. People stare at you. Young children clutch their mothers hands tighter as you walk past.

I'm not going to do a review, because reviewing it would suggest that there's a matter for debate or opinion in regards to this.

There isn't.

It is excellent.

The End.


Last night was tough. Hot, muggy, and by the time I got home I was trashed.

Plus, I nearly choked on a bug. That happens. Nearly throwing up on my dog? Not so much.

Jess the Wonder Dog accompanies me, by the way. Just in case any males prone to over-protectiveness want to start making comments about woman running alone = danger. As does my mobile and a torch (I go through a small wooded area and up and down two fairly steep hills just to get to the pavements I pound)

Anyway, apart from feeling pretty good about getting back out there, going at the time I do has it's compensations.

Last night:

And Monday:

They aren't great, but I'm taking them on a camera phone whilst running. How much can you expect?
And how's that for consistency? Check out the time stamps. Both nights I was at the same spot at the same time. Not bad.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Banned Words

You'll notice a new widget on the Sidebar there. It's a list of words I won't tolerate in comments. Not for any particular reason, and it isn't a policy, per se, it's just a personal whim. I am open to suggestions though. The list so far contains:

  • Straw
  • Strawman
  • Ad hominem
  • Coniption (Sic)
  • (Sic)
  • Specious
  • Trunk
  • Beatles/The Beatles
  • Any member or song of the Beatles/Beatles
  • Twonk

Their name liveth forevermore

Today is Remembrance Day. A day to remember the fallen, those who gave their lives for their country, those who fought bravely and survived, those who were injured. A time of reflection, and thanks.

In particular, it is 90 years since the end of World War One. Today, in particular, I honour those who fought in that conflict, and thank them for their courage and their sacrifice.

I also, on these days, think about the families left behind - both those who lost their loved ones and those displaced by conflict. Everyone makes sacrifices during war, not just those on the battlefield.

Lest We Forget.

**Additional - Today is remembrance day, not "Use the death of millions of men as a political point-scoring exercise' some would do well to remember that. This day is not about politics. For shame.**

Tobias has an excellent post I recommend everyone read.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Why I sleep in strange positions

Because this is what frequently shares a bed with me:

She's about 25kg of bed-hog. And how can you say no to this face?

And just because she's cute as a button:

And yes, she gets under the covers by herself.

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Shut up and let me go

I do have a habit, it must be said, of picking up a band, listening to a song or album until the words, notes and time signature become an indelible part of my psyche, or purchasing a bands entire back-catologue on the strength of whatever i've heard late one night on Rage or MTV.

If you've ever been near me when Third Eye Blind's self-titled album has been playing, you'll know I'm not bullshitting. I've listened, sung (and with some songs, strummed) those songs so often, i'd know those versions far better than the band ever will.

I'm rapidly approaching that point of repetition with The Presets and the Ting Tong's Ting's.

The Ting Ting's I've been getting into for a few months, and That's Not My Name would be pretty close to number one on my playlist. And after a friend reminded me of The Presets Talk Like That last Friday, I downloaded it, and i've been listening to it non-stop.

So, in an effort to broaden my horizons a little, and because I stopped listening to the radio about two years ago, I'm putting a call out for new songs. Especially with the running (Which resumes tomorrow after a four-day sickness induced hiatus), I need a bit of variety.

One stipulation: No Thrash, no Metallica, no Elvis or The Beatles and try and avoid the Easy-Listening genre' altogether. I'm looking for variety, not a slow, painful death.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

The camel-back breaking straw

For me came from a source I could not possibly have predicted.

Andrew Bolt has this to say:

"Obama has not just the mandate, but the heartfelt support around the world, to achieve greatness. The rest is up to him."

There may or not be tears in my eyes right now.

Monday, November 03, 2008

Things you only forget once - I hope.

I've started pounding the pavement again. And on Saturday I pounded it hard - two hours. And here are some observations:

  • I love, hate, worship and denegrate my sports bra. It is all that is evil, and I've no doubt when it eventually parts company with me, I'll shed a tear. The instructions to get into it almost require a degree in engineering, but you
  • When did I forget that running + chewing gum + no water bottle is the worst idea ever?
  • The Evil Sports Bra removes the need for band-aids. Runners will know what I'm talkin' about.
  • I am the only person I know who could get lost running in an area they've lived in for a year and a half and the second they walk through the door realise the phone they've taken with them and were using as a walkman has GPS. If I'm not, please tell me, because I felt very, very dopey.
  • Where I live, there's no real way to avoid running on both pavement and hills for quite lengthy periods. Exactly what my ankle is going to think of that long-term, I have no idea. I pulled up a little propy on Saturday, but considering it's the first real pain I've had in it in a year, that's a slight concern. I suppose the only other options are driving to a running track or joining a gym. But will I be able to habit myself into the gym by myself? I used to go with my ex, and I was significantly fitter than now, because we'd cajole each other into going if one of us couldn't be bothered. Is a personal trainer the answer, perchance? Do they nag you? I have no idea. (I don't know anyone in this area, so buddy-ing is out)
  • I am amazed, so very amazed, that given how long I have neglected my body for, if I start doing the right thing, it responds and does what I ask it to, and more. Why didn't I remember that? Why didn't I keep the endorphins in the front of my mind? Yes, it hurts, but it's good. GOOD. Although I have to be honest and say when I came in on Saturday from my run, I lay on the floor for a few moments because my house is tiled and I was very hot.

I used to be fit. I used to relish the idea of soccer or netball a few times a week or the gym or all of the above. I ran cross-country the day after some stupid idiot brought the exposed metal edge of a fold down chair down on my knee and it was being held together with steri-strips. I came fourth. I used to love this.

And I refuse to lose that completely. Enough neglect. Enough.

Oh, and if anyone has any ideas, let me know.

Things that shit me - Music Edition

  • The compulsory guitar solo - If it doesn't fit, don't shoe-horn it in. I've watched bands pick apart fantastic, innovative tunes and turn them into just another cock-rock song because "people will expect a solo". Solos bore me sensless unless they're on Guitar Hero. As I say above, I don't pay to hear you jam.

  • Ditto the ten minute intro. If your instruments aren't tuned by the time you get on stage, fire your roadie.

  • Faux "I don't sell out" Styles targeted at teenagers (Pink, I am looking at you. You started out R&B - decent, ballsy, R&B. Then you realised there was something about you that appealed to the teenage market and changed styles completely. I don't care if you want to make money, good on you if you can - but be honest about it)

  • People who start hating bands they like just because they sign with a label and start making money - Unless you're willing to pay them what the record company will, shut up. Do you want to spend your life hoping you'll flog enough shitty t-shirts out of the back of your van or off your flimsy fold up table to cover costs? Bet you're downloading off the latest "must-have" bit torrent site whilst you're whingeing about them selling out, aren't you?

  • Obscurity As An Art form. I give a certain friend of mine shit about this, but he isn't actually a true proponent of it, he's just got unusual taste. But what really shits me is those people who like a song right up until it enters the charts. Then, it's too "mainstream" and they find it distasteful.

  • Snobbery. I like Interpol. I like Robbie Williams. I love The Editors, and I've been to a Maroon 5 concert. I like some of Britney Spears songs, and dislike both the Beatles and Elvis. I make absolutely no apologies for my taste in music, and neither should you. There is no right and wrong in music, and if you dislike a song just because it's by Britney, you're just as bad as those who love the latest Miley song just because it's Miley.

Cause and Effect

So, I've talked about Creepy Optometrist, now it's time to show you the cause of all this trouble.

Firstly, the old glasses:

Lop-sided, flimsy and very, very annoying.

The New Glasses:

I think they're completely different. They'd want to be, considering I spent $461 on them and had to deal with Creepy Optometrist into the bargain, but I'd had at least two people say they aren't that different to the old ones.

It is taking some getting used to, having something on the sides of my eyes, though.


When I was uploading the photos for this post, I accidentally put the new glasses under the old glasses and the old glasses under the new. Just to clarify, the new ones are the black ones.

Sunday, November 02, 2008

Context is everything

Heard on a documentary on Saturday:

"I hope his sleep isn't disturbed by spontaneous fires"

Morning TV Gold

Quote from the Today shows US correspondent:

"Possibly the only thing that could save McCain at this stage is a terrorist attack"