Thursday, July 31, 2008

Cry for Help

I'm stuck in the hairdressers without a book. I'm going to be here for a fair while yet.

Someone, anyone. I'm incredibly bored.

Oh, and I have MSN access here. Add me and relieve my misery. Please.

It's kedgie1982 AT hotmail DOT com

UPDATE - Still here at 9.36pm.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Word Cloud Wondering

My Wordle Cloud

I have no idea what to make of this at all.

It's a cloud of questioning, for my mind.

If I expand it to 200 words, it's even stranger.

I have no idea what to make of it.

Shiny Little Diamonds

Alright. Since I only got one suggestion for bloggers who deserved a shiny little diamond, I've had to pick them myself.

Which means I haven't given out all seven. And everyone who gets one is getting insulted, as that was how I got mine (Hi Nic!)

First up, for being am awesome, awesome bitch, and making me feel less alone in my geekdom - MBB!

Go bow at her feet and tell her redheads rock. Now.

Secondly, EC. Poetry, geekdom, Doctor Who. The girl has got it going on. But, she's taking a break for two weeks, so I deem her the laziest blogger ever.

Thirdly, Bron. I'm not linking to Bron, because I know she won't put it up on the website she contributes to. Instead, I'll just tell her here that she's the meanest person in the world for daring to be sick while I was in Sydney. Bitch. Plus, she doesn't like Doctor Who.

Fourthly, at the suggestion of "Not John Surname", John Surname gets a gong. I refuse, point blank, to call him "Golden Tonsils" though. I can't think of anything more insulting to say to him than "You're John Surname", so I'll leave it at that.

Number five is Mel from Stirrup Queens. This one is a serious one, because Mel does a hell of a lot in pulling together communities of people who otherwise might drift along thinking they are alone in their predicaments. Thanks to Mel, there's a huge amount of information and support available for the cost of nothing more than a click of the mouse.

Plus, she's as weird as a bag of hair (She isn't really, but she put it in the comments, and I couldn't resist)

There's only five, but no-one made any (serious) suggestions, so it's your fault. If you want the remaining two given out to anyone, let me know who in the comments.

Ah yes, and the rules.

Here they are:

Once an award is received, the rules are as follows:
1. Put the logo on your blog.
2. Add a link to the person who awarded you.
3. Nominate at least seven other blogs.
4. Add links to those blogs on your blog.
5. Leave a message for your nominee on their blog.

My work here is done.

***UPDATE*** Bron, in all her kindness and not at all being an orthographic nazi, pointed out that I originally had the word weird incorrect. So it's fixed. HAPPY NOW?

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

My God

Every time I see or hear of a fundamental Christian or Catholic, I think about my own position on faith. It’s not something I’ve discussed much on this blog, and maybe it’s time I redress that.

I was christened Catholic, and attended Church with my mother and brother until I was about thirteen, every Sunday. My mother is Catholic, my father is not. After I turned thirteen I attended church sporadically with my mother, and up until the year before last, still attended at Easter and Christmas, although rarely outside those times.

What changed? Well, the first thing was a growing awareness of many of the positions of the Catholic Church. The other thing was that although I didn’t lose my faith in God, I lost my fear of Him.

I no longer believe that God requires my presence every Sunday to please him. I believe that he would prefer me to address my conscience and make decisions compassionatly rather than follow a set of rules that scholars have argued about since the dawn of Christianity. I no longer believe that my God is a God of fire and brimstone. I no longer believe many of the positions of the Catholic Church. I believe they run apposite to the teachings of Jesus himself.

I also feel like something of a hypocrite when I attend church. I don’t feel like it’s the right place to be when so many questions in my mind remain unanswered. I don’t feel that I’m serving anyone (least of all myself) when I sit there listening to the Priest’s sermon whilst my head runs through the list of questions it throws up for me.

My main problems with the Church are:

I don’t believe that many followers of the Catholic faith realise that not judging others actually means not judging others and practicing forgiveness and compassion.

I don’t believe the Church does enough to help the less fortunate when it is within their power.

I don’t believe that God is as wrathful as the Church would tell me.

I don't believe that Jesus would ever cast out the marginalised as the Catholic Church advocates.

I don't believe that Jesus ever meant houses of worship to be so lavish and unnecessarily opulent.

I can't, in good conscience, sit there and have that running through my head without wondering whether I'm in the right frame of mind to be attending Church. When I was younger, it was because, well, being forced to go to Church as a child immediately makes you not want to go.

Now, I question my faith itself constantly.

I want to make one thing clear: I have never, and don't now, question the existence of God. It's not something I'm good at putting into words, but it's not something I've ever had to question. There's no doubt in my mind. It's not brainwashing (my brother vehemently denies that there is a God), it's just a feeling. I can't describe it.

The last time I was at Church was Easter two years ago. I planned to go at Christmas, but by the time we got to my mothers house on Christmas Eve, she had indulged in too much Christmas Spirit to be up for it.

Anyway, it was the first time I had felt any connection with the Church in a long time. Before that, I'd gone out of a sense of obligation rather than any sense of fulfillment.

The problem is, every time I think about going, I think of all the reasons I'm angry with the Church. I think of all the times I've been steaming mad when a priest or official of the church has failed to show compassion to someone who clearly needed it.

I think about the people who hassle scared woman as they go into family planning clinics.

I think about the refusal of the Catholic Church to use it's abundant riches to help those less fortunate.

I think about my own beliefs, and how I don't think they tally up with the Catholic Church anymore.

Can I call myself Catholic,
am I Catholic anymore? Does that matter, if I still believe in God?

And if I am still Catholic, how on earth to I reconcile my beliefs with my faith? Because right now they're poles apart.

I'm pro-choice. I don't agree with the Catholic position on homosexuality. Or sex before marriage. Or contraception.

But I don't know if I'm willing to give up what I do believe in because of what I don't.

I wish there was an easy answer. I wish I was sure there is an answer at all.

Good lord

Nic has given me an award.

This award:

And in doing so described me as "Mad as a box of frogs"

Can't argue with that logic. Mad as box of frogs = blogging award.

And here are the rules, as handed down by the scary lady in the corner:

Once an award is received, the rules are as follows:

1. Put the logo on your blog.

2. Add a link to the person who awarded you.

3. Nominate at least seven other blogs.

4. Add links to those blogs on your blog.

5. Leave a message for your nominee on their blog.

So, later on today or possibly tomorrow morning, I will be handing out shiny little diamonds to bloggers. Any suggestions?

Speaking of Songs

On the weekend, something happened to me that only happens once, maybe twice (if I'm lucky) a year:

To the tune of "I got You" by James Brown

I feel good! (Da der da der da der da)
We beat Collingwood (Da der da der da der da)
I feeeeeel nice. (Da der da der da der da)
'Bout beating the Pies (Da der da der da der da)

So good! (Da da) So Good!
Sucks to be you (Da da der da da)

Collingwood Supporters, you may have noted that we kicked your arse on the weekend.

This is because our team is vastly superior to yours. Even in the years where we are shit.

Our fans are superior to yours. Your cheersquad - it has no teeth. Or jobs. Or grasp of personal hygiene.

Did I miss any other outrageous stereotypes? No?

Good. My work here is done.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Things my brother has a song for - everything

Lazy blogging again. I'm busy. And in charge of catering tonight.

My brother loves to make up songs. A few years ago, I was regularly woken up by the sonarous sound of his Cheese-on-Toast song, which simply went:

Cheese on Toast,
Cheeese on Toooast.

To the tune of "Girls on Film"

Which would have been fine, had he not been a shift-worker in a nightclub at the time, and had he not been in the habit of having cheese on toast when he got home, anywhere between Four am and Seven.

Then there's the Chicken chant. One night my brother and I were cooking, and I wasn't in a good mood. So I'm standing there man-handling the raw chicken (Which I hate doing) and we had the following exchange:

He (animated, hopping from one foot to the other):"C-H-I-C-K-E-N. What does it spell?"
Me(confused): "Uh, Chicken?"
He: "ChicKEN!"

The thing that makes his songs and chants funny are the effort that goes into them. The Chicken song had a hopping-from-one-foot-to-the-other dance, and the "ChicKEN!" was delivered in a Chicken voice. And the fact that I just said "Uh, Chicken?" made his "ChicKEN!" hilarious. Now, every time we have Chicken, out it comes.

And, somehow, it only gets funnier with time.

And then there's this afternoons offering. We were conferring on dinner, and he wanted to have Tacos. I was in favour of Thai Chicken. He won. How?

By repeating the words taco-taco over and over again, every time I said Taco in what he fondly imagines is a Mexican accent. Even when I was checking the list of things we'd need, he said "Taco-Taco" and start laughing, which made me laugh. What should have been a one minute call about him picking me up from the Supermarket was a seven minute call that featured the word "Taco" at least fifty times.

By the time I get home, ten dollars says there's a song and dance in progress. Probably with props, given he'll be on his own.

Friday, July 25, 2008


The setting - my brother contends that my mothers beloved "thingy plant" is fake. She tells him it isn't. He bites it to test whether it is or not, and my mother rushes over to save the plant from destruction. My step-father pipes up from his position at the other end of the room

"Leaf it alone"

After the obligatory groans and my gut-busting laughter:

"He's stalking it"

My mother, who loves falling on her own sword as much as the next person, chimes in:

"Stop planting ideas in his head"

Thursday, July 24, 2008

This is not a test

Well, actually it is.

Just testing to see if my reader has rectified itself yet.

**UPDATE** It's hasn't. Still broken.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Muxtape sleeve notes

EC has commanded notes on our Muxtape selections.

And because I always do what people tell me, here are mine:

The Scale – Interpol

I didn’t want to put more than one song from any one artist, and I had a devil of a time choosing just one from Interpol. I saw the concert earlier this year, and it was awesome. The Scale is my favourite at the moment, but if you’d asked me two weeks ago, it would have been Take You on a Cruise. Next week, who knows?

Plus, it’s a little more jangly than Take You on a Cruise, and there’s quite a few slow songs in here, so I thought I’d mix it up a bit.

Comin’ up From Behind – Marcy Playground

The only way I know how to describe this song is sinuous and slinky. It basically mugs you. You listen to it once and don’t quite hear what the fuss is. Then, all of a sudden, you get it. It’s just, oh go and listen to it and you’ll know what I mean.

I Want You – Third Eye Blind

Again, I knew I needed a 3EB song in here, but I couldn’t decide which. The self-titled album this song comes to has been a frequent player in my CD player since I was fifteen, and I’ve had to replace it twice now. I have never managed to wear any other CD out. I Want You is a hybrid of love song, funeral dirge (an excerpt of lyrics? “Happenstance set the vibe that we are in. No apology because my urge is genuineand the mystery of your rhythm is so feminine” Or “The village church yard is filled with bones weeping in the grave. The silver lining of clouds shines on people jesus couldnt save”) Every time that album is on, I sing along to the lyrics without realising it. I drive people to distraction with it.

Secretly - Skunk Anansie

I had forgotten this song even existed until about two months ago when I found it on a CD of mp3’s. And it rocks. Soaring strings as per nineties requirements, awesome vocals, and pretty good lyrics. Actually, Skin’s voice is scarily good.

Get Off – Dandy Warhols

I’ve talked about this song before. It is excellent. It’s just fantastic. It’s the Dandy’s at their best. Protracted harmonies (And by that I mean harmonies coming in at the end of notes, not harmonies that go on for all time), Cowboy sound effects and horny lyrics. What more does a girl want?

Insomnia – Faithless

Faithless have always been a little hit and miss with me. The one with Robbie Williams that practically no-one outside the UK heard I thought was excellent, but I always forget the name. Plus, by the time this song gets to the “tearing off tights with my teeth” lyric, I’m hooked.

Cave – Muse

Have you ever liked a band long before you realise you like them? I found four separate copies of this song hanging around my CD collection in various guises, and on each I didn’t know who it was by, but loved the song. (On one it was labelled “Buggered if I know but excellent!!”) And I own three Muse CD’s besides that. I had no idea it was Muse. And now it seems fairly obvious. Muse before they got complicated (Not that complicated is bad)

Sexxlaws – Beck

This song is my “Year Twelve” song. It was played a lot whilst I was on Schoolies, as it was the one song a house full of completely different musical tastes could agree was awesome. Although it nearly made way for Fast as You Can by Fiona Apple.

Mope – Bloodhound Gang

It’s got Pacman high on crack. It’s got Homer shrieking “Holy Macaroni!” as the outro. It’s got the lines “Luciano Pavoratti on a treadmill. Not going nowhere slim chance we will”

In short, it’s the most fun you can have whilst listening to a song on headphones making sure that no-one else at work can hear you.

Restless – Lighthouse Family

The album Postcards from Heaven by the Lighthouse Family picked me up at the worst time of my life. It’s always got a soft spot in my life, but apart from that, it has some of the most simple, soulful songs you’re ever going to here. Restless is the stand out slightly ahead of the rest of the album, but it was a close thing.

The Other Side – David Gray

I don’t know what it is about this guy, but one of his songs is always on my most played list. This song is currently my most played, and it is awesome. The lyrics are stark, the piano - well, the word I think I’m looking for is baleful – if I listen to this song too much, I actually cry. No shit. I was half way through a post once about how sad I was for no reason two weeks ago before I realised I’d had this song on repeat for two hours. I turned it to a happier song and my mood shifted almost instantly.

Any song that can do that to a woman not prone to mood wings is great in my book. Not particularly great to be in your most played list, but great. Plus the lines “I know it would be outrageous/to come on all courageous/and offer you my hand/when all I got is sinking sand” Get me every time.

I think we’ve all been there.

Rush – Big Audio Dynamite

I have this on my computer, and I don’t know why. It’s also a favourite of my fathers, and we were talking about it about a month ago and it came on the radio whilst I was looking for a song to finish with.

And what better to finish with than a song that starts with “If I had my time again/I would do it all the same”?

Gremlins in the system

It's been brought to my attention (Thank you!) that my RSS feed has not only been spammed, but isn't working.

Something about Russian DVD's may appear, or nothing at all.

At this stage, I'm putting it down to a feedburner thing I set up about two weeks ago, which I'm in the process of deleting.

In the meantime, be assured that I do not advocate Russian DVD's, but I wholeheartedly recommend nothing.

UPDATED: Deleting the feed isn't working (It's going to hang around for 30 days) and deleting the code from my template isn't working either. Help. Someone? Anyone?

Monday, July 21, 2008

I'm going to need a Bex and a good lie down after this one.

Rumours has it that David “So delicious I come with a spoon” Tennant will not be staying on past this years Christmas special.

And rumour further has it that David Morrissey, who is guest starring in the 2008 Christmas Special (And, co-incidentally or not, was David Tennants co-star in Blackpool) will be replacing him.

Rumour could have said anything beyond this point. It could have offered me a free trip to Hawaii, Colin Firth in Mr. Darcy get-up for all time and Captain Jack deciding he really does love girls after all – specifically this girl – and I wouldn’t have heard a word.

Because I was looking at this picture, and what raced through my mind – well, it isn’t really polite to say. Even my profile picture would blush if I told you.

Muxtape Madness on a Monday, and other Alliterations

Sally forth, my good yeoman, and check out my muxtape.

Then come back here and tell me what you think*.

*Unless you are Ant come to tell me there aren't enough Beatles. There are no Beatles. Which is exactly the right amount.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Two song reviews

I've downloaded two songs this week and one i've been listening to frequently because it's good, and the other because it keeps pissing me off.

First up, I Kissed a Girl by Kate Perry.

Let's set aside the fact that Perry is the latest in a long line of shouting-in-tune 'singers' made popular by Kelly Clarkson. I'll also set aside the mechanising of her voice in the chorus, and that it's a pop song in the mould of those i'm generally a fan of, and go straight for the two things that bugged me the most - Lyrics and Video.

Firstly, Katy, no self-respecting vamp is bowled over by the kind of woman who wears 'Cherry Chapstick' nor does she enjoy the taste.

Secondly, it's unlikely your boyfriend will mind, as for some reason men have this thing about two women kising, but if it really is something you're concerned about, how about not getting it on with strange women?

And don't go on for a verse about how irresistable women are with their soft kissable lips and try and tell me it's 'no big deal, it's innocent'

You wanted her, didn't you? Those soft kissable chapstick coated lips were just too hard to turn down, weren't they? Nothing wrong with that, Katy, but please don't tell me otherwise.

And the video. I can see Katy was aiming for sex-kitten, but she missed by a mile. It was the least sexy video I've ever seen. I've seen Meatloaf videos with more sex appeal.

Now, on to the second song. Viva La Vida by Coldplay. First things first, if you're looking for a snarky review of this song, I'm afraid I'm going to have to let you down.

I loved it. The composition is the musical equivalent of taking a boat ride on a harbour. It peaks and troughs in the most glorious way and the layers meld together without being over the top.

I've listened to this song probably thirty times in the last twenty four hours and I'm finding something new every time I listen to it.

To me, that's the mark of a great song.

Quick Update

Jebus. You'd think that with a week off and constant access to the intertubes, i'd be able to post more often, not less.

But of course, on holiday there are things to do, cousins to entertain (Six under seven), and places to visit that I haven't seen in years.

So a quick update. My aunt who hasn't been doing too well had a good night tonight, and recognised me for the first time since I got here. I visited Katoomba today, and took about a hundred and fifty photos of Echo Point and the Three Sisters. It's been about two days since my four month old cousin vomited on me, and things are going really well.

So, i'll have a fuller update tomorrow, but in the meantime, keep Melbourne warm for me.

Monday, July 14, 2008

For the eight thousand and fourteenth time

I just want to clear this up, once and for all.

I am not in Sydney to meet the Pope.

Or on a pilgramige.

I'm not going to World Youth Day.

I haven't brought a crucifix.

The closest I've come to WYD so far is seeing two nuns in severe habits with fluro orange backpacks at the airport.


Friday, July 11, 2008

Just for Ant

Ant, because I know you love to hear what gastronomic delights everyone is partaking of, I present you with the above.

This was the starter for the three course meal my mother (with my brothers assistance) laid out for us last night. It's a baguette, with pesto, marinated yellow and red peppers, artichokes and fried panchetta. The brown line artistically swirled around the plate? That's a sweet balsamic vinegar glaze.

And it was awesome.

The main course was home-made Larb Gai (A thai chicken salad where the chicken is minced and cooked with an onion, thai chilli, lime juice and, for something not entirely thai, my mother adds kechup manis reduction)

The dessert was my brothers take on my dessert of a few weeks ago. He also got artistic and mixed up the couveture by drizzling the milk chocolate over the white and vice-versa.

Just another reason I love living in family of chefs.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Geek of the week

If it's geeky to stop off at a newsagency to see if there's any new techy magazines out, how bad, on a scale of one to ten is it if you leave with not only a gaming magazine but a Doctor Who magazine as well?

Blogging from the train

A man leans across and plucks a stray blonde hair from the top of my left breast, holds it up and looks at it before throwing it away.

Says 'I've never been jealous of a hair before' and goes back to his book.

Next stop Mooroolbaark.

So bad I had to buy it

Anyone who knows me will know that I'm an impulse buyer. But last night, I had good reason.

I was at my local supermarket, and glanced as I waited for my turn at the magazine stand.

Sitting next to the Take 5 Pocket Puzzler (I took a look, the only thing puzzling me was why you'd pay $4 for it) was this months Readers Digest.

A quick persual of the cover revealed the follwing articles:

  • WARNING! Your kids are germ bombs (GET RID OF THE FILTHY LITTLE VERMIN*)
  • WHERE HAVE ALL THE DOCTORS GONE? (They're hiding from the germ bombs is my guess)
  • Who do we TRUST? (Not Readers Digest?)
  • 16 ways to declutter (Throw things out)
  • WHAT GARDENS TELL US (Anyone thinking Little Shop of Horrors?)
  • An article on "Chinglish"

And photograph of Cate Blanchett where she seems to be trying not to laugh in the photographers face. She's got this look on her face that say "What?"

I know, I know. Hardly earth shattering stuff, but I'm writing this post on religion and it's getting me down.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

You can't has a sense of humour, of that I'm sure.

I have to do a presentation Monday after next at work on Contactors, and since I'm not going to be here next week and it's first thing, I have to get it finished up this week. Which leaves me two days.

Does it make me more or less of a geek if I wanted* to call the presentation "I can Has Contactor?"** with the above picture below it?

*For, like, a minute. I wouldn't really give a work presentation called "I can Has contactor?"

**This if funny because the above picture is of a circuit breaker, not a contactor. A circuit breaker contains a contactor, which switches off the current when the circuit breaker decides that the current is too high. The contactor then opens the circuit***, thus breaking it. So if a circuit breaker asks "I can has Contactor?", it's playing up on the fact that it's actually the contactor, not the Circuit Breaker, that breaks the circuit.

*** Contrary to popular belief, to turn off a device, you must open the circuit, not close it. Closing a circuit turns a device on.

Ehm. I think I just proved my point. More of a geek, definitely.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008


Have new whiz-bang phone. Can I blog from it?

Let's see, shall we?

Friday, July 04, 2008

No spineless sea-creatures were harmed in the making of this post

First, let me say that I was floored by the following headline:

'Beast' man downloaded octopus porn pics

First, it's delightful for the sheer absudity. There's such a thing as Octopus porn? People thought to make Octopus porn? There's a market for this kind of thing?

Then, once the shock wears off, there's a frisson of sympathy for the Octopii. I don't like the idea of someone raping an Octopus.

Hang on. Let's reflect for a moment. I've just had to clarify my stance on Octopus rape.

Moving on, as one can only do, having uttered the phrase "Octopus Rape", you've got the fact that this man has had to explain his actions in court.

And had it reported in a National Newspaper.

I can only imagine what is going through his head.

Scratch that. I cannot imagine what is going through the head of someone who gets off on Octopus Porn.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Less than flattering

Heard far too early on Sunday morning:

"How come it takes you twenty minutes to get ready and you still look like shit?"

Clearly I'm not quite the well-groomed, kittenish femme-fatale I'd been aiming for.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

There's a theme emerging here

This week is the week I get lazy on your arse. I'm in the midst of writing something on prison conditions and reform, and it's taking the very little time I have available to write that. So posts this week will be here, but they won't be up to my usual sparkling standard.

Okay. Fine. They'll be better, because I won't be using too many words.

Lazy blog post # 2 - Why I love tennis:

Safin. Hot. Fiery. Hot. Talented. Hot.

My tip for the winner

Marat Safin - a man's man.

Who doesn't love a man who can tell the linesperson where to go fluently in three languages?