Tuesday, April 01, 2008

The horror, oh, the Horror.

Sunday’s game can only be described as a drubbing. Unless you prefer the word massacre, in which case, I’ll grant you that.

My dear boys, my Essendon men. Please. Don’t put me through another year of this. I don’t think I can stand the strain. Especially since we’re once again having problems with our membership, and had to buy tickets to Sundays game. Which, because of time constraints, meant climbing up to the last row. Yes, the last row. The last bloody row when we have away seats on the wing three rows back.

A few words for some individuals. Laycock – Wear Velcro on your hands, keep your eye on the ball and invest in some super-glue. Something. Keep your frickin’ hands on the ball, would you? Stop dropping it, or you will become the new Bolton. And that isn’t a place you want to be, now is it?

Spike. I love you, you know that, don’t you? But honestly, Sunday just wasn’t up to your usual standard.

Dyson – whatever you’ve been doing over pre-season, keep doing it. Something or someone has put a rocket under you, and it shows.

Oh Lloydy. It isn’t enough that our premier full forward is the butt of so many jokes. No, you have to take it one further and kick like a gumby when we need you most. Pull your finger out, my friend.

And to the Essendon administration – give me my bloody membership, will you? This is getting beyond a joke.


Ant Rogenous said...

Oh, Keri. Beatles hater, Essendon fan... what's next?

And we used to be such good groupthinkers!

Keri said...

So what is the team of choice for the Leftist Groupthinker?

I'm guessing Hawthorn?

Ant Rogenous said...

Hawthorn! Pffffft. Bunch of namby-pamby moisturisers and conditioners.

I'm a Collingwood supporter.*

* Cue derision, etc.

Keri said...

But, but.... Ant, I don't understand. You have... teeth.

How is it so?

Ant Rogenous said...

I stole them from a bloke down the pub, who left them floating in his pot when he went to take a shit.

Keri said...

Could have been worse, I suppose. Could have stolen them from a bloke in the pub who took his pot with him when he went to take a shit.

clubwah said...

I have had the pleasure of meeting Matthew Lloyd's brothers, both are really decent guys and I'm sure Matthew is the same, as his generous personality suggests.
BUT, when he crosses the line I hate the fucker with a passion so much so I have taught my daughter to call him a "cheating pig" - him and that long-armed bastard Dustin Fletcher (who I'm sure is lovely chap off field).
There's nothing better when Matthew Scarlett keeps him to sod all goals. At least on Sunday he was unable to steal a goal from a bullshit dive free-kick.
Yes Essendiong were brought back down to earth by the Greatest Team of All. Back to the drawing board Baby Bombers.

Keri said...

Oh, Wah. Dustin Fletcher is the mildest mannered, lovely guy you’ll ever meet off field. And he’s been the only good thing we’ve had in defence since Wellman retired.

Scott Lucas is an absolute delight. Matthew Lloyd I’ve never thought much of off field, and I’ve always been a Scotty girl anyway. I’ve met most of the current team and much of the older ones through one thing or another, and they are, by and large, a great bunch of guys.

Oh, Sunday. It was a hash. It was awful. But “Greatest Team of All”? Must I point out how long Geelong went without a premiership and how totally shit they were in Finals situations in the nineties?

clubwah said...

Scoreboard Keri ... scoreboard

Keri said...


How many premierships have you won? How many have we won?

Enjoy it while it lasts, Wah. Because you lot go an awful long time between drinks....