Monday, March 31, 2008

Overheard Mark II: Trains

I thought the worst – or best – of Train-Bogan fun was behind me when I abandoned the Belgrave/Lilydale line for the delights of the Hurstbridge.

It would appear I was wrong.

Overheard in the train last week from a woman with thrashed blonde hair, cropped short followed meekly by a Cro-Magnum puppy/stalker: -

“Get the fuck away from me you C***. I’m serious, I’m not going to jail for you again. I’m serious, Fuck off C***. I’m not breaking parole. Get the fuck away from me, stop following me around you C***, I’ll call the Jacks meself. Get off the train or I’ll call the Jacks. Stop following me around or I’ll throw you off the train. I’ll throw you under the wheels, you C***. I’m not going to jail for you again, I’m serious”

She then proceeded to apologise to the carriage at large for the disturbance, and repeat the above litany until I got off the train.

Is it too much to ask that some kind of recording device materialise in my hands at moments like these?

4 comments:

Ant Rogenous said...

She then proceeded to apologise to the carriage at large for the disturbance, and repeat the above litany until I got off the train.

So what did you do that got her gaoled in the first place?

Keri said...

Good spot, Ant. And to prove my integrity (or laziness, you choose), I'll leave the post as it is and see if anyone else spots it.

clubwah said...

I was once on a train and there was this rough as guts bloke, probably straight out of Barwon Prison who was with two woman and a young bou about 5. The cops got on the train and he said to the little boy: "what do we do to fuckin' Jacks?"
"Shoot them," the lad replied jovially.
The boy had rat tail - there was really no hope.

Keri said...

It’s a broad cross-section of society that use public transport, isn’t it?