I know how pedantic this is going to make me look. I know that people will shake their collective heads and sigh “Man. She talks about concerts and comedy, but she’s really just sitting there picking apart ads” (Also, about two paragraphs in, this changes from being annoyed about the ad to a detailed discussion about non-weddings)
I know all this. Which is why I’ve sat on this, and not mentioned it to anyone, even thought it’s burning a hole in my tongue. But I can’t take it anymore.
So here it is. You know that AAMI ad where the women is in a Jewellery store and talks about how with the money you could save from switching to AAMI “Who knows what you could buy” and she’s playing a bridal waltz?
Every time I see it, I can’t help but think that if I was proposed to with a ring that cost $307 dollars (The amount the ad says you could save) because you’d switched insurance companies, if that was your motivation for getting down on one knee, you’d be getting a no.
Also, it pisses me off that this ad portrays women as desperate, to the point of carrying a tape of the bridal waltz, for gods sake, around with them and finding any excuse at all for trapping their poor man into marriage. And that if they do manage to trap them, that money is a huge factor.
Men, honestly, we’re not all like this. I’m not. For a start, I’m not sure I believe that marriage is all it’s cracked up to be. I’d rather spend the $20k it’s going to cost you (For a small ceremony) on an excellent party and then just go on holiday with the rest of the cash. The only bit missing would be the ridiculously priced flowers, dress, hair etc, and is that anyone’s favourite bit of a wedding? Yeah, we can all go “ooooh” at the wedding dress, and the hair, and Doesn’t-She-Look-Beautiful, but I hate the thought of walking down an aisle of people scrutinising my appearance and staring at me. I could, frankly, think of nothing worse. I like the idea of dressing up, but I don’t need to get married to do that, do I? Realistically, with it being so easy to walk away from a marriage these days, does it matter? Plus, white is really not my colour. I’m pale enough as it is without having a matching dress as a handy comparison.
Also, I want someone else to be the centre of attention. Or, at the very least, distractions on stand-by. I want giant balloons ready at strategic intervals when I want to just get away from it all. There’ll be a balloon tamer just outside the door and at my signal, one is released. Then I could just say to the person talking to me “Hey! Look! A giant penguin!” and move away or go to the bar in the moments during the distraction. Also, my mother had indoor fireworks at her wedding, and I think that would be excellent as a distraction tool as well.
Additionally, I’ve always lamented the fact that now I’m no longer a child, it’s no longer appropriate to get really excited by the idea of going on a bouncy castle. Something about bouncing around like an idiot, and trying to walk towards someone and ending upside down sends me into fits of giggles. Some things about being a child, I just don’t want to give up. This is one of them. So, there will be a bouncy castle. This also has the advantage of being able to dispatch errant children for bouncy, supervised fun if they get too much to handle with all the non-wedding cake and red cordial.
What was I on about again? Oh, yes. The AAMI ad. Basically, every time I see it, I sit there for probably ten minutes with the above running through my head. Okay, the ad has done its job if I’m thinking about it that much, but it isn’t likely to make me switch to AAMI. AND I miss ten minutes of whatever show I’m watching staring off into the middle distance thinking about giant penguins and bouncy castles. Which annoys me.
It’s nearly as bad as the RACV ad where a tree has fallen on a house, and the tarpaulin protecting the roof is under the tree.
Bleeding arse and a snot bubble
32 minutes ago