"KERI! There's a giant penis at the door!"
My birthday was on Monday, and since its traditional to get pissed, I figured, what better way to celebrate than to get pissed with other, and the grilling of a dead animal or two? So Saturday last saw me and a few of my freinds have a bit of a drink, lament the return of a Meatloaf CD from what we had hoped was a permanent retirement, and, as suggested by the title, the arrival of a giant penis.
We got into it fairly early, when Danny, Phildo, Jacob, Katie and Leprechaun Girl arrived around 3pm, and, despite my most ardent protests, I ended up with a red in one hand and a Coldie in the other. Next to arrive were Justin and Kirsty, a few freinds of my Dad, who gave me a present of my first lottery ticket EVER. A rather protracted conversation about how Lotto tickets worked ensued, and to date I still have no idea whether or not I'm a millionaire. The commandeering of the CD player drove us young 'uns outside, until the arrival or Andy, Crackers and Nuffman, when it had gotten a little colder and the bottle of Jim Beam on the kitchen counter started calling my name. From this point on things are much more blurry, although I can state with some certainty that everyone who arrived after that point got a 25 minute tour of the house, and a demo of the didgeridoo in the loungue.
Just as I was taking the 20th person to arrive on a totally pointless tourn of my house (Culminating in an in-depth discussion of my notice board), I heard a yell from the front door in Evil Andrew dulcet tones "KERI! There's a giant penis at the door!" I wondered out just as a giant balloon sculpture wandered up the hall followed by my best mate, Leis and her boyfreind Pete, was quite the ice-breaker for all those who had never met each other before (Which was most people) After the festivities had concluded around midnight, two car-loads of us decided to go on a bit of a jaunt to the nightclub my brother works at, where I am assured I was "As fucked up as I have ever seen you" But, somehow, I still ended up looking after Liz, a girl we had just met, and forcing water down her throat in an effort to stop her throwing up on my lap.
Needless to say, when I returned home at around 7am, having completely forgotten about the giant penis in my bedroom, and just shoved it off my bed, I was quite surprised, therefore, to wake up some hours later to discover a giant baloon-penis nudging me in the ear. Not at all surprising was the fact that I was not at all well enough to attend AJ'S Brithday BBQ, as it was during daylight hours, and I had suddenly allergic to both sunlight and getting out of bed with out the assistance of a drip and a stomach pump. Given the options, I think I made the right choice.
(Many apologies to AJ, and I PROMISE you will received your present soon Happy Birthday, AJ!
12 hours ago