BEING A ROCK STARS HO' IS TIRING WORK
I'm just a little weary today. Last night was The Boy's first gig, at the Barley Corn Hotel, and considering they went onstage at 9.30pm it was never going to be an early night.
But I certainly didn't expect to wake up so shagged and have so much trouble getting out of bed. Although very strange dreams involving people I know living in Mangrove Swamps, The Boy turning commentator/Pro Wrestler after a stouch with a security guard at Crown Casino and people swinging on lamp posts in the middle of an argument about a Post-it note doesn't leave you very refreshed of a morn.
Anyway off the Swamp Monkeys and back to the gig.
It went really well. Although I could tell The Boy was nervous, I don't know that anyone else would have, and having performed in Theatre for 13 years does give you a more critical view than most. He has a fantastic voice, the songs are well written, and no one booed. There was jigging, four "groupies" with "Malk's our man" t-shirts, cheering from people with rather loud voices, a VERY bright camera flash, and visits from people up until yesterday I had vowed never to speak to again. I'm not going into that, sketchy details are here, and we'll leave it at that. Suffice to say The Boy wasn't the only one with nerves. For several reasons. Firstly, the fact that Lion was turning up, with his girlfreind, and I hadn't seen him since the night he said something he later changed his mind on but decided that the best way for me to find out would be through other people and through alternate periods of complete ignorance of my existence, apart from the occasional message blaming me for miscommunications from someone I will never again trust in my life, and sending me messages full of curiosity to how I was going and promising me we'd meet up soon, etc. Not that i'm bitter, or anything.....
The second being The Boys ex-girlfreind, who we shall, from now on, be referring to as Psychotic Stalking Manipulative Bitch. Maybe just The Psycho for short. God, I hope she reads that, because even though a lot of people (including myself and The Boy) have told her that, it doesn't seem to have sunk in and to the best of my knowledge she isn't currently sporting a straight-jacket and bouncing her crazy conspiracy theories about how much of a bastard The Boy is (while in the same breath apologising for her behaviour) to four padded walls. Or bringing up things THAT NEVER HAPPENED from four and a half years ago that she had no involvment in as a way of justifying stalking The Boy, sending flaming messages to all his freinds, making up two completely false identities as a way of staying in contact with him and generally being, well, a Psychotic Stalking Manipulative Bitch. There was the possiblity she would turn up, as she still frequents the forum The Boy and his freinds have for organising group outings and the like, and she would have known all about the gig, where it was, what time, etc, and knowing her, could justify her presence there even though quite a few people have made it plain that her presence around us will not be tolerated. I wasn't so much nervous as wary of the fact that I know I would have no compunction in kicking her psychotic arse, and I didn't want to make a scene unless it was absolutely necessary. Okay, so a large portion of me wants to snap her neck like a twig and hear that satifying crack (Something akin to snapping apart yoghurt packs) that means a broken bone, but the non-mental part of me realises that its probably not the best idea in front of a stupid amount of witness' and The Boy was nervous enough without having to perform with the spectre of his girlfreinds impending court date for murdering his ex-girlfreind Jerry Springer style hanging over his head.
Speaking of his head, does anyone know a way to cure a bad hat fetish? And we're not even going to discuss the horrible red tie. You know those ties that are a faded kind of red with those patters usually seen on circa-70's wallpaper? mmm. I have a burial spot all picked out for it, but The Boy, even if he has the occasional bad tie, is far too clever for any kidnapping plot to succeed unless it was exceptionally covert, and undercut with the theme to Mission: Impossible. Not that I want The Boy to change, you understand, I just want him to change that paticular tie, and the hat. I have no objection to A hat, but this hat is slightly, shall we say, ZZ Top-esque.
Anyway, I think now that I've bagged his hat and his tie, its only fair I give him huge Kudos now. Firstly, for having the balls to get on stage and belt out tunes the public had never seen (or heard) before, especially considering how nervous he had been. Secondly, for having a beautiful voice, well controlled (apart from a few nervous twitches) and well suited to his chosen genre, and, if I might say so myself, he was easily the best looking person on stage last night, even in the hat and sunglasses, for persevering even though his pick got inexplicably caught in his E string (Not a G-String. Ick) in the middle of a paticularly nice piece, for generally being a kind, generous, giving, fun and lovable Boy, and for all of that, I couldn't be prouder to be the Frontmans Ho' (I had previously suggested Band Whore, but he took exception to the fact that I'd be sleeping with the entire band, one of whom is 16. Some people are so pedantic.)
So, a good performance all round, and here's hoping its the first of many.
3 days ago